The following is from Cheri Walsh:
are relevant excerpts of the last letter I wrote to Mrs. Prophet when I
left staff on July 7, 1996. It
tells in more detail the circumstances of my departure.
I am publishing it as a supplement to the Overview History
started out by telling why I had not come forward sooner to tell my story.
One note of explanation: In the church, lecture tours were referred
to as stumping. The lecture
planning department was called the stumping department.
are the excerpts:
did not come forward sooner to make any kind of statement to you for two
am like oil and water with the three main Office of Ministry women.
From the beginning I did not fit in their group.
They did not seem like a team to me but rather a clique and, at
times, a gossipy clique. I
don’t like cliques. I was
uncomfortable with them and they were uncomfortable with me.
For me it was all downhill after the January trial.
I felt that everything about me had been judged.
I felt they were trying to control and mold me into something that
was not me.
all assumed that because SU students and staff love my classes and some
are even converted in them that stumping should be something I could do
well. I could probably
deliver the message okay, but I don’t think that stumping is for me.
I found it very arduous, especially after I hurt my back.
stump I have ever been on, the team leader has been a tyrant.
I can’t push people around like that to get the job done so
obviously stumping is not what I should be doing.
I bring a depth of understanding of the teachings to my
presentations that is best used at SU.
It is not necessary to have that kind of depth stumping.
a team leader, I felt that S.K. was controlling and tyrannical on the
stump. She even told me where
to sit in the van. Worse yet,
she was impolite and even rude at times to Keepers of the Flame. I made excuses for her behavior to them.
I can give you specifics if you want them.
my opinion, she is too hard and confrontive.
She actually takes pride in this.
I have always been embarrassed by her arrogant swagger in public,
especially in front of SU students.
don’t think people like S.K. should be representing the church in any
public capacity. They do not
represent you well and I think her behavior is a disservice to El Morya.
do not like telling you these things about S.K. because we have been
friends. But people need
feedback when the things they do impact others negatively.
I was embarrassed by S.K.’s behavior with Keepers of the Flame on the stump
but I knew I was in no position to challenge her because I was on trial.
So I kept my mouth shut.
injured my back in Albuquerque, New Mexico and it was painful after that
but it did not incapacitate me until we were in San Antonio, Texas.
One morning I tried to get out of bed and ended up on my hands and
knees. For almost an hour, I
could not get up and I could not get down.
I was in a lot of pain and I was upset over the prospect of a
long-term disability. I
realized the injury was serious. It
was a scarey experience. On
top of this there was a very uncomfortable undercurrent between me and S.K.
that day, we had a meeting and I told S.K. that I did not want to spend my
life being tyrannized by a pushy staff member.
I told her I was embarrassed by her rudeness. I suppose this was being a little blunt.
But I was in pain. I felt alienated and isolated.
I was upset about my future health and also failing on the stump
team because I could not pull my own weight.
response was that she was willing to listen to what my problems with her
were and remedy them. Then
she said that she had been “patient with me for three years” but that
I “needed psychotherapy big time.”
She said my back went out because I was trying to get out of
response to my challenging S.K. was that I have a problem with authority
figures. Perhaps so.
But I have done what authority figures in this organization have
asked me to do for the last 25 years.
I have had some differences with supervisors but I would hardly say
that I was a problem or troublemaker as N.D.’s judgment of me implies.
N.D. also said my back went out because of my pride.
you can see, they have me all analyzed, boxed, labeled and condemned based
on what I think is a skewed perception of me.
I think they misinterpret things I do and say and impugn motives
and states of consciousness to me without even talking to me.
They just seem to think that they somehow magically know where I am
think they tend to do this with people.
They reinforce one anothers’ condemnation and judgment of other
people. They zero in on a
person and once they have that person all figured out and labeled, they
move to discredit him or her to you.
In the light of my experience, I cannot help but wonder how many
more victims of the modus operandi of this clique of women there are going
knew after I challenged S.K. it was the beginning of the end for me.
N.D. and S.K. were so cold and unkind to me that I did not want to
come back to the ranch from Texas. In
sum, I would say that the southwest stump was one of the worst experiences
of my life.
course, at this point I do not know the negative statements or distortions
they may have presented to you about me.
If there is anything I supposedly did or said that bothers you, I
ask that in the spirit of truth and fairness you allow me to address it.
you decide to take me up on this, I would prefer a non-trial setting and I
would rather the Office of Ministry women not be in on the conversation.
don’t expect anything about this situation to change as a result of this
letter. I only care about
clearing up any misconceptions you have about me that are not true.
I suspect my name has been smeared and I would like the opportunity
to clear it up.
I did not have enough Christ consciousness to successfully navigate
through my karma in this situation. At
the same time, I do not feel their treatment of me is very Christlike.
I am the odd man out and I understand that in the interest of
harmony and getting the job done I am the one who needs to go.
did not want my letter to Mrs. Prophet to go through M.B. (who was
handling Mrs. Prophet’s mail at the time) because I knew M.B. would
alert the Office of Ministry women about it.
So I quietly contacted D.L., who was Mrs. Prophet’s
assistant at the time, and asked her to get it to Mrs. Prophet without
going through M.B.
knew D.L. would want Mrs. Prophet to read what I had to write about the
Office of Ministry women because D.L. had been one of the victims of
their modus operandi.
had come back to duke it out with them, though.
It was all part of the constant power struggles that went on around
turned in my letter but I don’t know if Mrs. Prophet ever got it.
D.L.told me she would get it to her but I have never heard a word
from D.L. or anyone in CUT administration to this day.
Of course, I am long past the point of caring.
But for about two years after I left, I would have been grateful
for a kind word from any CUT representative.
Fortunately for me, that never happened.