The following is from Cheri Walsh:

Here are relevant excerpts of the last letter I wrote to Mrs. Prophet when I left staff on July 7, 1996.  It tells in more detail the circumstances of my departure.  I am publishing it as a supplement to the Overview History document.

I started out by telling why I had not come forward sooner to tell my story.  One note of explanation: In the church, lecture tours were referred to as stumping.  The lecture planning department was called the stumping department.

Here are the excerpts:

I did not come forward sooner to make any kind of statement to you for two reasons:

  1. I could not bear the thought of having another trial like we had at your house in January where they came in with their prepared indictments against me.  At that trial, they did not read everything out loud as you had instructed them.  I got a copy later.  Some of the things they had on their list were statements I had made but they were taken out of context and skewed to make me look bad.  They have all said things that I could do the same thing with.  That is the kind of thing journalists do to you in the media.  I could not help but feel I was in enemy territory in the stump department after that trial.  I wanted to make it work but I felt it did not portend well.
  1. I thought that when you got a black report about me after the southwest lecture tour you would say, “That is not the Cheri I know” and would want to know my side of the story.  When that did not happen I was hurt that you would believe what I suspect are negative and distorted statements about me in their report on the stump tour.

I am like oil and water with the three main Office of Ministry women.  From the beginning I did not fit in their group.  They did not seem like a team to me but rather a clique and, at times, a gossipy clique.  I don’t like cliques.  I was uncomfortable with them and they were uncomfortable with me.  For me it was all downhill after the January trial.  I felt that everything about me had been judged.  I felt they were trying to control and mold me into something that was not me. 

We all assumed that because SU students and staff love my classes and some are even converted in them that stumping should be something I could do well.   I could probably deliver the message okay, but I don’t think that stumping is for me.  I found it very arduous, especially after I hurt my back. 

Every stump I have ever been on, the team leader has been a tyrant.  I can’t push people around like that to get the job done so obviously stumping is not what I should be doing.  I bring a depth of understanding of the teachings to my presentations that is best used at SU.  It is not necessary to have that kind of depth stumping.

As a team leader, I felt that S.K. was controlling and tyrannical on the stump.  She even told me where to sit in the van.  Worse yet, she was impolite and even rude at times to Keepers of the Flame.  I made excuses for her behavior to them.  I can give you specifics if you want them. 

In my opinion, she is too hard and confrontive.  She actually takes pride in this.  I have always been embarrassed by her arrogant swagger in public, especially in front of SU students. 

I don’t think people like S.K. should be representing the church in any public capacity.  They do not represent you well and I think her behavior is a disservice to El Morya.

I do not like telling you these things about S.K. because we have been friends.  But people need feedback when the things they do impact others negatively.  I was embarrassed by S.K.’s behavior with Keepers of the Flame on the stump but I knew I was in no position to challenge her because I was on trial.  So I kept my mouth shut. 

I injured my back in Albuquerque, New Mexico and it was painful after that but it did not incapacitate me until we were in San Antonio, Texas.  One morning I tried to get out of bed and ended up on my hands and knees.  For almost an hour, I could not get up and I could not get down.  I was in a lot of pain and I was upset over the prospect of a long-term disability.  I realized the injury was serious.  It was a scarey experience.  On top of this there was a very uncomfortable undercurrent between me and S.K. and N.D.

Later that day, we had a meeting and I told S.K. that I did not want to spend my life being tyrannized by a pushy staff member.  I told her I was embarrassed by her rudeness.  I suppose this was being a little blunt.  But I was in pain.  I felt alienated and isolated.  I was upset about my future health and also failing on the stump team because I could not pull my own weight.

S.K.’s response was that she was willing to listen to what my problems with her were and remedy them.  Then she said that she had been “patient with me for three years” but that I “needed psychotherapy big time.”  She said my back went out because I was trying to get out of lecturing.

N.D.’s response to my challenging S.K. was that I have a problem with authority figures.  Perhaps so.  But I have done what authority figures in this organization have asked me to do for the last 25 years.  I have had some differences with supervisors but I would hardly say that I was a problem or troublemaker as N.D.’s judgment of me implies.  N.D. also said my back went out because of my pride.

As you can see, they have me all analyzed, boxed, labeled and condemned based on what I think is a skewed perception of me.  I think they misinterpret things I do and say and impugn motives and states of consciousness to me without even talking to me.  They just seem to think that they somehow magically know where I am at. 

I think they tend to do this with people.  They reinforce one anothers’ condemnation and judgment of other people.  They zero in on a person and once they have that person all figured out and labeled, they move to discredit him or her to you.  In the light of my experience, I cannot help but wonder how many more victims of the modus operandi of this clique of women there are going to be.

I knew after I challenged S.K. it was the beginning of the end for me.  N.D. and S.K. were so cold and unkind to me that I did not want to come back to the ranch from Texas.  In sum, I would say that the southwest stump was one of the worst experiences of my life.

Of course, at this point I do not know the negative statements or distortions they may have presented to you about me.  If there is anything I supposedly did or said that bothers you, I ask that in the spirit of truth and fairness you allow me to address it. 

If you decide to take me up on this, I would prefer a non-trial setting and I would rather the Office of Ministry women not be in on the conversation. 

I don’t expect anything about this situation to change as a result of this letter.  I only care about clearing up any misconceptions you have about me that are not true.  I suspect my name has been smeared and I would like the opportunity to clear it up.

Obviously I did not have enough Christ consciousness to successfully navigate through my karma in this situation.  At the same time, I do not feel their treatment of me is very Christlike.  I am the odd man out and I understand that in the interest of harmony and getting the job done I am the one who needs to go.

End of excerpts.

I did not want my letter to Mrs. Prophet to go through M.B. (who was handling Mrs. Prophet’s mail at the time) because I knew M.B. would alert the Office of Ministry women about it.  So I quietly contacted D.L., who was Mrs. Prophet’s assistant at the time, and asked her to get it to Mrs. Prophet without going through M.B.

I knew D.L. would want Mrs. Prophet to read what I had to write about the Office of Ministry women because D.L. had been one of the victims of their modus operandi.   D.L. had come back to duke it out with them, though.  It was all part of the constant power struggles that went on around the messenger.

I turned in my letter but I don’t know if Mrs. Prophet ever got it.  D.L.told me she would get it to her but I have never heard a word from D.L. or anyone in CUT administration to this day.  Of course, I am long past the point of caring.  But for about two years after I left, I would have been grateful for a kind word from any CUT representative.  Fortunately for me, that never happened.