The following document is from Cheri Walsh:

An Overview

Last summer (July 2001), I made a whirlwind trip to Bozeman, Montana.   I was there to be part of a meeting of Lawrence Levy with ex-CUT members who wanted to know more about a possible class-action suit against CUT.  I hadn’t really planned on going, but at the last minute it worked out.   

 I wasn’t sure I wanted to be part of a class-action suit.  I have an innate distaste for legal proceedings.  However, I felt that since the church has chosen not to admit publicly to any kind of culpability for the abuse, dishonesty, and misrepresentation through the years that has come to light, if the legal system offers the only avenue for some kind of accountability and payment for wrongs done, then so be it.

 I was curious to meet Lawrence Levy.  After all, he was one of the archenemies of CUT whom the entire staff and church had spent weeks decreeing against during the Mull trial back in 1980.  I had never seen him “in the flesh.” 

I was pleasantly surprised when I met Mr. Levy.  He is an intelligent and gracious man.  He impressed me as a man of principle and practical wisdom.  He recounted a couple of his own experiences with Mrs. Prophet during the Mull proceedings and how he came to understand what CUT is really all about.

I think he is one of the few people I have ever met who was not a member of CUT who really understands the true sincerity of people who join CUT and what it is like to be a dedicated believer in CUT. 

He understands that many ex-members feel that there is something wrong with them for getting involved with CUT.  He says there is nothing wrong with us.  On the contrary, we had a noble motivation to be part of something that we were led to believe would help make the world a better place.  The wrong was in the misrepresentations of CUT/Mrs. Prophet.

Mr. Levy also understands how to educate a judge and jury about the real CUT.  The average person has no idea of the all-consuming hold that CUT/Mrs. Prophet has on believers.  They don’t understand why staff/members didn’t just go down the street and join another church when things were off-the-wall in CUT.  Juries need to understand CUT culture and the true context of CUT abuses to really get the picture.  Mr. Levy knows how to paint that picture.

As an attorney, he has been successful in every lawsuit against CUT that he has been involved in.  I saw that if we wanted to bring a lawsuit against CUT, Lawrence Levy is the attorney for the job. I’m glad I met him.

He did warn us about being involved in a class-action suit against CUT.  He cautioned that it might take a toll on us personally.  He told us to carefully weigh whether or not it was really something we wanted to take on.

My motive for possibly being part of a class-action suit against the church was not the money I might get if we won the case (although that would have been nice).  To me, it was a way to take a stand for truth and force accountability on the church. It would also be a way to make public some of the outrageous abuses in CUT.  Finally, any money the church would have to pay for attorney fees would mean less funds available to recruit new unsuspecting members. 

When all was said and done, I was glad the lawsuit didn’t proceed.  I realized that if the case did go forward, all kinds of ex-staff would come out of the woodwork because of the potential for a cash settlement.  I think that is the wrong reason to come forward. I wouldn’t want to be a part of the suit if there were people there only because of the money.  So in the end, it worked out okay.

I prepared the following document as my response to Lawrence Levy’s questionnaire for potential class-action suit participants against the church. 

Since I have found out how dishonestly Mrs. Prophet represented herself all during the years of my association with CUT, I have felt that it is important for me to tell of my experiences with CUT in order to warn other sincere seekers of getting involved with CUT.  That was the reason I started telling my story online.  At this point, I am not sure when and if I will finish my online story. 

In my response to the class-action questionnaire, I briefly outlined my history in CUT.  As I re-read it recently, I saw that it would be a good way to finish my story in an abbreviated form.  So here I am publishing the relevant portions of my questionnaire. I have added a few things in order to make it a fuller account of my exit from CUT. 

What follows is the augmented text of my responses to Mr. Levy’s questionnaire:

[Note:  I have formatted my answers to facilitate a quick overview as well as more details behind the answers.  Bold type highlights the lawyers’ questions, facts and main points in my responses.  Non-bold type fills in details.]  

 1.      Tell how, when and where you learned of the church and what representations the church made to you. Be specific as to dates, locations, and persons within the church who made the representations.

I first learned of the existence of CUT (which was called The Summit Lighthouse at that time) in August of 1971 in a bookstore in Denver, Colorado called The Silver Cord. 


Prior to learning of The Summit Lighthouse, I had completed two years of college and had been working at the telephone company for about two years. 


When I was 22, I saw a series of Pearls of Wisdom called The Human Aura by Kuthumi.  I purchased them and also took home a couple of free brochures about Pearls of Wisdom and The Keepers of the Flame Fraternity that were by the cash register in the store.  I went home and read the Pearls on the Human Aura. I was a bit disappointed in the content because there wasn’t much what I would call interesting info in them.  I briefed through the brochures and put them aside.  At the very beginning of 1972, I picked them up again and sent for Pearls of Wisdom. 


I signed up to receive the weekly Pearls of Wisdom at the beginning of 1972. 


I did not understand what I read in the Pearls most of the time (largely because of the jargon) but I had read about the spiritual hierarchy and I was a Catholic, so I understood that the Pearls were supposedly from saints in a higher realm.  Although I did not grasp all of what I read, I felt there was something to the teachings themselves. 


At the beginning of 1973, I joined the Keepers of the Flame Fraternity and started receiving monthly Keepers of the Flame lessons.  I also signed up to receive monthly tapes published by The Summit Lighthouse.


In those days, the monthly tapes were mostly dictations.  There were very few lectures published on the monthly tapes that I recall hearing. 


On the first tape I received, there was a dictation from Lady Master Leto who said we should strive to become walking encyclopedias of the teachings.  I vowed in that moment that I would do so.  I was a serious student of the masters from that moment on.  I began that very day to outline my Keepers of the Flame lessons so as to absorb the information as best I could.  Indeed, I eventually became known as a walking encyclopedia of the teachings.


In late February of 1973, I received an announcement of Mark Prophet’s ascension in the mail.  I was curious because the only ascension I knew of was Jesus who went up into heaven in a cloud.  I wondered if Mark Prophet ascended the same way.  I called The Summit Lighthouse headquarters in Colorado Springs.  I asked the person who answered just how Mr. Prophet ascended.  She said he made the transition first (meaning he died) and three days later he ascended from inner planes in Colorado Springs. 


A few weeks later I received a tape of Mr. Prophet’s memorial service.  I was impressed and amazed that Mrs. Prophet conducted the service.  I thought at the time, it must have taken courage to do that.


I did not understand how the messengers fit into The Summit Lighthouse, but after Mr. Prophet ascended my interest was piqued.   I sent for a copy of Climb the Highest Mountain. 


What representations were made to you by the church?


When I read Climb the Highest Mountain in the spring of 1973, I came to understand:

1.      The Summit Lighthouse belief system seemed to explain the meaning of life. 

2.      It offered a path to achieve the ascension, which I learned was the goal of life for all people of God. 

3.      Serving the cause of the Great White Brotherhood via the work of The Summit Lighthouse provided a way to serve the will of God, make a meaningful contribution to life and be part of something so much bigger than myself.  


Finding the meaning of life was one of the main quests in my life at that time.  I was seeking to do the will of God and looking for something to dedicate my life to. 


When I had graduated from high school several years earlier, I had intended to enter the Carmelite monastery, but the Mother Superior told me to go to college for a year.  During that year, I came to believe in reincarnation.  I knew that my belief would be a point of conflict in the monastery, so I began searching for another spiritual path that would include a belief in reincarnation. Two years later I found The Summit Lighthouse teachings.


In April of 1973, I received a letter from Mrs. Prophet that she wrote to Keepers of the Flame.  In the letter, she detailed Mark’s passing and ascension.  She told of how she was called to be a messenger of the Great White Brotherhood, our mission to fulfill the mission of the World Mother in this age and thereby bring in the golden age of enlightenment.  Wow.  This was even bigger than I had thought.


I attended the Freedom conference in late June to early July of 1973.  It was held at a tent city set up for the conference near Colorado Springs.  I had never been to such a large gathering of people who believed in metaphysics. 


Laying eyes on Mrs. Prophet for the first time was mesmerizing.  She was obviously a very powerful and charismatic leader.  Upon witnessing the first dictation at the conference, I was hooked big time.  I was enthralled with everything I saw and heard at the conference.


In one dictation, it was announced that Jesus had bestowed the office of Vicar of Christ upon Mrs. Prophet.   As a Catholic, I understood that the Vicar of Christ was the representative of Christ on earth.  She was the real Pope!  I was very impressed and in awe of her worthiness to hold such a high and holy office. 


I didn’t want the conference to end.  I couldn’t get enough of the teachings.  I wanted to hear more and more, every day for the rest of my life!  I was thrilled when Mrs. Prophet announced the opening of Ascended Master University (later called Summit University) in Santa Barbara in the fall of 1973.  I had to be there!


I came home from the conference with the view that nothing could be more meaningful than serving the Masters and messengers through the work of The Summit Lighthouse.   I had finally found what I had been searching for all my life!  I returned home a total fanatic.  I turned my whole world upside down to pursue serving the Great White Brotherhood.  


What representations did the church make to you?


Church representations are largely vagaries and intangibles that appealed to my search for an idealistic cause to dedicate my life to and my need to make a meaningful contribution to life.  In almost every dictation through the years, the masters made statements to reinforce the importance of serving the cause of the Great White Brotherhood. . 


For instance, prior to leaving for Santa Barbara to attend Ascended Master University (AMU) in the fall of 1973, I received the Ascended Master Code of Conduct for students who would be attending AMU.  I will quote from it to help convey the seeming absolute loftiness of this path as it came across to me at that time.  [I have added the bold in these quotes from the Code of Conduct.]:


The Ascended Master University….is initiated under the dispensation given by Gautama Buddha on January 1, 1973.  In a dictation given through…Mark L. Prophet…the Regent Mother of the Flame, the Ascended Lady Master Clara Louise, presented to Elizabeth Clare Prophet “a torch charged with the vital fires from God’s heavenly altar and the conveyance of a vast mission to illumine the world’s children and produce the blessing of true culture to the age and unto all people everywhere.”


The torch that was passed to the Mother of the Flame is composed of an infinite number of flame petals comprising the “thousand-petaled lotus” of the Buddhic Consciousness.  Each disciple of the Brotherhood who completes five quarters of study and five quarters of the trial by fire shall be endued by the Mother of the Flame with one of the facets of this torch representing his or her mission on behalf of the Hierarchy.  Each facet of the torch is a petal of Light that shall be expanded through the Heart Flame of the disciple to magnetize the Light of Helios and Vesta for the crystallization of the Golden Age spiral.


Each chela of the Ascended Masters who successfully completes the course compiled by the Hierarchy shall receive a certain dispensation from the Cosmic Christ for the raising of mankind, the planetary body, and elemental life.  Specifically, the disciple shall receive the opportunity to raise all individuals karmically tied to him upon whom the Great Law requires him to bestow the freedom and enlightenment of the Law prior to his ascension.


The opportunity being momentous, the need being great, and the time being short, the following Ascended Master Code of Conduct has been established…to ensure the greatest protection and the greatest perfection for the disciples as they prepare to go forth…to “the lost sheep of the house of Israel” and to secure the remnant of the sons and daughters of God evolving upon earth for the Golden Age…


I attended the first 12-week quarter of Ascended Master University in Santa Barbara in the fall of 1973.


By the time I arrived at AMU, my new belief system was almost complete.  After the twelve weeks, Mrs. Prophet was firmly in place on a pedestal of idolatry and I was completely swept up in The Summit Lighthouse way of life.  I was determined to attend five levels of Ascended Master University and be part of the “vast mission to illumine the world’s children.”  It became my life purpose.


After the first quarter, I returned home to Denver until level two of AMU.


I attended the inaugural level two at AMU in the spring of 1974 at Santa Barbara.


After that quarter, I returned home to Denver again.  Third level of AMU (by this time redubbed Summit University) was postponed until the fall of 1975.  It was announced that a prerequisite for attending third level of SU was serving on staff for three months.  I joined the staff of The Summit Lighthouse in Colorado Springs in mid-June of 1975 in order to be eligible for level three in the fall.


I was required to pay room and board during those three months on staff because I was an SU student working to fulfill the requirement for third level.  I wasn’t viewed as an official staff member.


I attended the first level three of AMU/Summit University in the fall of 1975 in Colorado Springs.


At the end of that quarter, Mrs. Prophet appealed to Summit University students to join staff.  I jumped at the chance.  (Incidentally, levels four and five of SU were never held.  No one ever completed five levels.)


I became an official staff member the day after third level ended in late December of 1975.


I served on staff for the next 21 years. 


The church has always claimed that people were free to leave at any time.  Technically, that is correct.  But the psychological landscape within the church made it very, very difficult to do so if you really believed the teachings. 


In addition, one’s time was taken up 24/7 and at times the diet was not conducive to clear thinking.  The stringent rules regarding relationships made for an unnatural social environment as well.  We were also isolated from outside information to a large degree in the earlier years and to a lesser degree as time went on.


From day one, I struggled to stay on staff.  Over the years I almost left numerous times.  I was always terribly conflicted about leaving because I remembered many teachings that Mrs. Prophet gave through the years about leaving staff.  It started at Ascended Master University with the teaching from Jesus in the Bible about the person who sets his/her hand to the plow cannot look back.  


After I got on staff, the teachings about leaving staff became more threatening:


·        There was a staff member who left shortly after I joined staff.  Mrs. Prophet held a staff meeting where she described a giant hand coming out of the sky and removing a link from a huge chain and putting the chain back together again.  She said that the vision represented the staff member being removed from the chain of the Great White Brotherhood because he had left staff. 


·        Another staff member around that time had been dismissed from staff for having an affair with another staff member.   Mrs. Prophet said that the Lords of Karma issued an edict casting the staff member into outer darkness. 


·        In the early days on staff, almost every time a staff member left, a staff meeting was convened and the messenger vilified the person who left.   The thought of being vilified to my peers kept me there at times.


·        At these staff meetings, Mrs. Prophet would sometimes give teaching about how the person had failed his/her test and it was his/her final opportunity in this life to pass his/her tests and serve the light.  She would sometimes tell of previous embodiments and failed tests of the person in question.  She would often comment on the spiritual state of the person who left. 


·        Many times, there was a sense of high drama around staff leaving.  One time, there was even a dictation about a staff member’s departure.  When this person left in 1978, El Morya gave a dictation in which he described how terribly the person had failed her tests.  This person had the audacity to disagree with the messenger and to tell her to her face.  Mrs. Prophet said she witnessed the person’s ascended twin flame pleading desperately before the Lords of Karma on the person’s behalf.  Mrs. Prophet said she had never seen an ascended master in such a state.


·        In the early ‘80’s in Malibu, Mrs. Prophet said that permanent staff members were beyond the point of no return in terms of leaving staff.  It was too late to go back. 


·        Some of the flights of people from staff took place in the night.  This always got Mrs. Prophet’s goat.  She said that one guy who left in the night from the Minneapolis Teaching Center in the early ‘80’s had committed spiritual suicide by his action.  (He returned to staff a few years later and is now involved in the governing body of the church.  Go figure.)


·        Then there was the teaching that when you joined staff, Mrs. Prophet held the balance for your personal karma while you balanced world karma through your service.  If you ever left staff, you would get back your own bundle of karma as you left the front gate.  Sometimes when someone would leave and something bad happened to that person, staff would talk about that person’s karma being upon him/her because he/she had left staff.  I always felt like there was a 900-pound gorilla waiting for me at the front gate if I ever chose to leave staff.


This was all serious stuff to me.  Knowing and remembering these things kept me from leaving staff for years. 


Aside from one’s personal spiritual safety, there was the always-present threat of world cataclysm that motivated me to think twice about leaving.  Since I had come into the teachings in 1972, there was an undercurrent of a very real threat of imminent social, economic and political chaos and/or physical cataclysm.  If anything did happen, I wanted to be wherever Mrs. Prophet was because I figured the masters would take care of her in times of trouble.  She had a direct link to heaven.  I thought that the masters would not let anything happen to her. The masters told us to be prepared for the worst at all times.


In spite of the dangers of leaving, I had several major struggles to stay on staff.  I will give you a few examples:


·        In the spring of 1976, I was working on Mrs. Prophet’s personal household staff.  Things were always tenuous and rocky around her.  One night she came home late and I told her that one of her daughters had been up very late because she wouldn’t go to bed.  Mrs. Prophet laid into me with the worst tongue-lashing I had ever had.  I went home late and had to be back early the next morning.  Mrs. Prophet started in again the next morning. 


I was shaken up by it and after Mrs. Prophet left for the day, I wondered out loud to one of my colleagues if I were cut out for the job.  Within a very short time, word got to Mrs. Prophet about what I had said.  She ordered me out of the house and via her spokesperson said that if I did not want to work on her household staff there was not place for me.  I could think about it over the weekend and give her my answer on Sunday. 


I struggled with the possible consequences of leaving and decided to stay.  Mrs. Prophet said that I had come to this same place on the path in several past embodiments and that I had always turned back in the past.  This time I had passed my test.  She said that since I had decided to stay, she could offer me a job working at headquarters answering the phone and helping out in the graphics department.  I was relieved but I felt for the next 20 years that I had failed.  I worked for many years after that to prove myself worthy to work for her again.


·        In the spring of 1977, I reached a point of total frustration because of run-arounds that various church administrators were giving me.  Then we were told that it was mandatory for staff to eat a raw food diet for one week.  That was the straw for me.  I went to a board member’s office and told him I was quitting staff.  Within minutes after I left his office, my department head had me in her office and handed me what I had been trying to get from the church administrators for weeks.  I decided to stay on staff.


·        I came close to leaving again in the summer of 1977 when I asked for time off to go to my sister’s wedding in Colorado.  Permission was denied.  I was very upset and I was embarrassed to tell my family but I did.  A few weeks later, my mom asked me to ask again.  I did so.  Much to my surprise, I was given permission to leave for 72 hours.  I was grateful for that much and hurried off to Colorado for a whirlwind preparation and wedding.  I had to leave Saturday evening after the Saturday afternoon wedding.  I got back to the church campus and holed up in my office.  I didn’t even see anyone for a whole day.  I was very depressed and mad because I realized there was no reason why I couldn’t have stayed in Colorado for a few days.


Fortunately for staff, Jonestown happened in early 1978.  After that, the church bent over backwards to not look like a cult.  If there was anything good that came out of Jonestown, it was that it made life a little more bearable for staff. 


We actually had a little time off on rare occasions.  For the first time ever, we were encouraged to stay in touch with family, at least enough to make them think we were staying in touch but not so much that we would be overcome with family mesmerism.  Doing things to look weird in public such as decreeing outloud were banned.


In the spring of 1982, Archangel Michael gave us a target date to plan around in terms of being in the right place prepared for world changes.  That date was January 1, 1987.  From that spring of 1982 on, I looked to that date to keep me focused when things got unbearable on staff.  I was able to weather the times I wanted to leave staff until the spring of 1990. 


Things changed drastically at that time.  It was the end of the so-called shelter cycle.  Life had begun to return to a semblance of normalcy following the peak crisis period in March and April. Staff started to leave in droves.  I was unfulfilled and unhappy on staff.  I wanted to pursue my education and a real career.  I wanted out, too. 


I wrote a proposal to Mrs. Prophet about leaving and going to Denver to work to pay some credit card debt I had incurred during the shelter cycle.  I had to include specific expenses to the penny.  The secretary who handled Mrs. Prophet’s mail told me my proposal was the next item in Mrs. Prophet’s inbox.  A few days later, the secretary told me that when Mrs. Prophet got to my proposal, she decided to quit reviewing staff mail.  She was going into seclusion and didn’t want to deal with it.  I was disappointed and frustrated. 


I was hanging on by my fingernails.  Something had to give.  I made up my mind that I would watch and pray for a few more weeks.  If things did not get better for me, I would resign from staff in August and leave for good.


Then, out of the blue, in early June Mrs. Prophet appointed me to be a teaching assistant at Summit University.  I was delighted.  As it worked out, what I really ended up doing was being an instructor.  I loved teaching at SU.  It gave me a chance to share my knowledge of the teachings in a creative way.  I loved being with the students and they also loved my classes.  It was a win-win situation for everyone.  It was a bright spot in my life that I could lose myself in. 


All told, I taught at SU for five years.  I taught as many as eight topics during a quarter.  It was great.  I was the most popular instructor at SU.  My popularity   didn’t set well with some of my colleagues or, I would come to find out, Mrs. Prophet herself.  But it was fun for me and kept me going for a while. 


But I was still restless.  I realized the editorial department where I worked most of the time was a dead end for me.  I would never be given the opportunity to do more than make the indexes for the books, fact-check, do research and prepare Mrs. Prophet’s lectures.  I felt I had more to give to life and I wrote Mrs. Prophet in January of 1993 and told her so.  I told her I wanted to leave to go to school and get my degree and become a counselor.  Then I started to research and apply to colleges.


It took Mrs. Prophet almost a month to get back to me.  On February 2, 1993, Mrs. Prophet called me to her office.  I was petrified of leaving staff but determined to get a more fulfilling life.  I was very nervous waiting outside Mrs. Prophet’s office to talk to her about my letter.  She said that when she took my letter to the altar, El Morya showed her that there was a mantle forming around me that was the “office of historian of the Great White Brotherhood.”  She seemed to be impressed by what El Morya had shown her.


What representations did the church make to you?


She said that she did not want me to leave to go to school but that I could stay on staff and go to school full-time.  She said she would raise my salary to pay for school and my expenses.  


I was relieved and happy at the outcome.  It turned out to be a Catch-22, though.  No one from the accounting office ever contacted me about what I needed.  I just got a bigger paycheck.  When I got my first check after my meeting with Mrs. Prophet with my new raise from the church it was not enough to pay for school and my expenses.  In fact, it barely covered expenses.  And there was a catch to it all:  in order to get a salary from the church, I had to work 40 hours a week.  I felt I could not go to school full-time and work 40 hours a week. 


I didn’t press the issue with Mrs. Prophet about my salary.  It was too much of a  hassle to try to get another audience with her.  I thought that I would probably have had to put together another proposal, which I hated doing.


Instead, I decided to compromise and attend school part-time and put in my 40 hours a week on staff.  I got student loans to pay for school.  Heck, 40 hours a week was nothing.  I was used to working 15-18 hours a day seven days a week.  I was no longer under the thumb of my supervisor. I could make my own schedule.  Now, I had freedom!  I had my own car to get to school and I had more time to myself than I ever had on staff.  I put 15,000 miles on my car just celebrating my freedom.  It was wonderful!


I loved school.  I had great instructors and interesting classes.  I felt I was working towards something worthwhile. 


After I had attended school part-time for two years, it began to irritate Mrs. Prophet that I was doing it and not available to her 24/7.  I had always had a thing about Ireland and she knew it.  In the summer of 1995, she cut a deal with me that if I quit going to school, she would send me all over the world to lecture for the church.  As part of the deal, she said I could go to Ireland twice a year to lecture.  It was a no-brainer for me at the time.  I was thrilled at the idea of going to Ireland regularly.  Also, the newness of school had worn off and I was ready for a break.


At the end of SU in September, I did not return to school but began to plan a lecture tour of Ireland.  A part-time staff member from Ireland and me began making serious plans, including fund-raising.  It stalled for some reason.  It seems Mrs. Prophet really didn’t want me going to Ireland at that time.  The fall turned into the New Year and nothing had happened. 


January 1, 1996 marks the beginning of the end for me on staff.  That day I gave a public presentation at the New Years’ conference at the Ranch about Summit publications.  I had gotten a haircut the previous week.  The beautician had absolutely scalped me.  I was embarrassed at how short my hair was, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it except wait for it to grow out. 


After I completed my presentation, I went to the bookstore.  On the way over, several staff and conferees complimented me on my presentation.  When I walked into the bookstore I saw N. D., S. K. and Mrs. Prophet’s male hairdresser whispering together in a corner of the store.  As soon as they saw me, they stopped talking.  I knew immediately they were talking about me. 


I knew something was brewing.  Sure enough, on a Sunday night in mid-January of 1996, I was summoned to headquarters to go see Mrs. Prophet in her home.  The women from the Office of Ministry—S.K., N.S., and N.D.-- along with the staff psychologist M.B. were there.  I knew something big was up.


As it turned out, I was there for a kangaroo court.  The women proceeded to read a document that outlined in detail all of my supposed flaws.  They said my hair was too short.  My dress was too masculine.  I was not a team player….blah, blah, blah.  Much of what they said about me was petty and untrue. 


The document also contained distortions of statements I had made at various times.  These

were taken out of context and presented in a way to discredit me.


G. V. relayed his own belittling comments, which were also untrue.  The things he said about me were so out of character, even Mrs. Prophet said he couldn’t make statements like that without some kind of proof.


I was in shock.  I knew I was under the microscope and I had damn well react like a “chela” or it was the end for me.  I was scared.  I buckled under the pressure and agreed with everything they said about me and promised I would do better and change.


Mrs. Prophet sat there and listened to everything.  She asked me if I would like to go on the upcoming lecture tour of the southwest to get lecture training from N.D. and S.K. to prepare for my own lecture tour.  I said I would.  She said okay.  The lecture team would be leaving the Ranch at the end of the month. 


I was badly shaken by the ambush.  After I got home from the meeting, I didn’t sleep much that night.  By the next morning, I was mad.  I decided I was going to take the church for everything I could.  If I were not given the opportunity to do a lecture tour to Ireland after the southwest tour, I decided I would resign from staff.  


Mrs. Prophet’s hairdresser and fashion consultant found several new and expensive outfits for me.  I got contacts, new glasses, good make-up and new hairdo.  They created me in their image.  I didn’t feel it was really me, but I went along with it.


When the lecture tour left the Ranch and headed south by van, I was public enemy number one.  For the most part, both S.K. and N.D. were cold towards me.  S.K. was controlling and tyrannical.  She even told me where to sit in the van every day.  There was a strained undercurrent among us.  I felt they were calling back to headquarters and talking about me in their very lengthy conversations.  I couldn’t do a thing about it, either.  The Keepers where we stayed all loved me and I think that irked S.K. and N.D.  They did their best to leave me out of any decision-making on the trip.


To make a long story short, I injured my back severely in Albuquerque.  By the time we got to San Antonio, I was in agony and on Sunday morning after the Saturday night stump I had great difficulty getting out of bed.   I was in a lot of pain and I was worried about being disabled with a back injury.  I had no insurance and knew the church wouldn’t take care of me.  


I had a tearful meeting with S.K. and N.D. S.K. told me I hurt my back because I was trying to get out of lecturing on the tour.  She also said that I “needed psychotherapy big time.” N.D. told me my back injury reflected my pride.  She said I had a problem with authority figures. 


We agreed I should stay in San Antonio and let the team go on without me on the lecture tour.  I would stay in San Antonio until I was well enough to fly home to Montana. I returned to Montana on March 17.  I went back to work in my office at headquarters but was in a lot of pain. 


When S.K. and N.D. got back from the tour in April, they came together to my office to see me.  It was strained.  I told S.K. about my pain.  She told me to go home to my room and rest to get better.  I did so.  I was seeing the chiropractor twice a week and he was telling me to rest, also.  I had some work with me in my room and I did some there but not much. 


I was lonely and isolated in my room.  I felt I was being ostracized by staff who used to be my so-called friends.  I knew rumors were circulating about me.  People were stand offish.  It was a painful and difficult time for me.  During the Easter conference, I had no interest in attending any of it.   I stayed in my room. 


My back was slow to heal.  By the end of April, I wasn’t much better.  I was just waiting to get well enough to pack up and leave.  Time dragged on. 


My father passed away on April 27, 1996 in Denver.  Naturally, his passing upset me.  When I got word that he had died, I felt there was no minister on staff I could talk to.  In my mind, there were no real ministers in CUT.  They were all posturing and vying for position and power around the messenger.  


I drove to the Catholic Church in Livingston that day and found comfort in the silence of the church there. My doctor had advised me against traveling to Denver to see my dad at the end, so I stayed in Montana.


A few days later, M. B. came to my room and fired me on Mrs. Prophet’s behalf.  She told me I was being let go because of my back injury.  We both knew it was a lie but I knew in the moment I had to go along with it.  She would report back to Mrs. Prophet about how I reacted.  I was calm and cool about it.  I had already decided I was leaving and so I had the presence of mind to ask for a small severance package.  M.B. said she would ask Mrs. Prophet about it. 


I didn’t sleep well that night because I was afraid I would be put out on the highway literally the next day and I was in no position to lift boxes.  I had seen many people put out like that through the years and I worried that would be my fate.  Once a person was dismissed, they were considered poison to the rest of the staff.


I had told M.B. that my doctor had said I would probably not be well enough to travel until the first part of July.  Via M.B., Mrs. Prophet gave me permission to stay in my room on the Ranch until then and she also approved my severance package.  After one more crisis, I left the Ranch permanently on July 7, 1996.  Before I drove away from the Ranch for the last time,  I got out of the car and shook the dust off of my feet.


Since that awful night in January during the kangaroo court, I had never heard a word from Mrs. Prophet directly.  I was so hurt that she would listen to the distortions if not outright lies that N.D. and S. K. told her about me.  I had been on staff longer than either one of them.  Mrs. Prophet did not even bother to hear my side of the story when she heard things that were out of character for me.


As I took my leave of the Ranch for the last time, I sent a letter to Mrs. Prophet telling my side of the lecture tour fiasco with S.K. and N.D.  I thought that surely I would hear back something from Mrs. Prophet.  As the weeks passed, I was bitterly disappointed to realize I would never hear a word.  Mrs. Prophet let me down big time in the end.  To this day, I have never heard a word from Mrs. Prophet or any CUT administrator.   Twenty-five years of devoted service didn't mean a thing to anyone there.  It was a bitter pill to swallow.


I had confirmation that S.K. and N.D. had spoken untruths about me.   A fellow staff member came to me on the eve of my departure from the Ranch and said that while I had been on the road with S.K. and N.D, they had been phoning back regular reports to K.B. (a board member at that time) about how bad I was and how my dweller was getting out of hand.  K.B. then mouthed these reports to other staff and they decreed against me.  It only confirmed what I had suspected all along. 


2.      State all...contributions or other money or property you paid or conveyed to the church and the dates of all such conveyances or payments, as well as the amount of each.  

After I got on staff, I didn’t tithe much or contribute to fund-raising campaigns because I didn’t have any money.  One time, Mrs. Prophet told us in a staff meeting that we should be tithing 10% of our church salary to the church.  I was only making $30 a month then and I decided not to do so.


My contributions to church income were in terms of researching and writing many of Mrs. Prophet’s lectures and cable shows that make her look brilliant and educated to the world even to this day.  That’s worth something. 


I also did important fact-checking for her publications.  I spent the entire summer of 1984 fact-checking the introduction that M. S. had written for her book The Lost Years of Jesus.  M.S.  does not know fact from fiction.  It was sooooooooo bad and he was so attached to his writing that is was a nightmare getting him to admit his errors and correct them.  If the book had been published without my work on it, Mrs. Prophet would have been a laughing stock in publishing circles.  Incidentally, M.S. said that he had already fact-checked it and it didn’t need anyone else checking the facts. 


I fact-checked the introduction to the Lost Teachings of Jesus volumes.  What a chore that was because of M. S.’s work on it.  Again, it would have been a disaster without careful fact-checking.


I made the indexes for all of Mrs. Prophet’s publications.  No one else did indexing.


My classes at Summit University were a highlight for many of the students who attended.  They went home and told their friends what a great experience SU was and got them to attend as well.  That helped contribute to church coffers.


I was an assistant on two lecture tours in the early eighties.  The church lecturer didn’t know beans about the teachings and I coached her to deliver an accurate presentation.  I tried to do the same thing with G. V. on a lecture tour to the British Isles in 1991 but he didn’t care about accuracy. 


3.      State all representations the church made to you to persuade you to purchase property or convey anything of value to the church, the person or persons in the church who made each such representation, the dates and places of each such representation, and explain in detail why any such representation was untrue.


In 1977, Monroe Shearer conducted a staff meeting at the church campus in Pasadena, California, which launched the fund-raising campaign to purchase the former Thomas More campus in Malibu.  He announced the name of the new property as Camelot.  The response from staff was wild.  We all loved it.  I was only able to make a small contribution but staff were encouraged to each pledge $1000 and department heads were instructed to allow people time off to get part-time jobs to earn their $1000.  It was preferred that the outside job be weekend evenings when staff would probably be at a service rather than on the job so that church projects wouldn’t be impacted too much.


After we moved to the Camelot property, there was more fund-raising to build more buildings there.  Our cafeteria was an uncovered patio and during rainy season it was a mess and impossible to find a dry place to eat.  I have found since then that the board of directors knew the California Coastal Commission would never approve the building plans.  The church raised money with untrue representations.  They had elaborate presentation folders with all the architectural designs drawn up.  In the meantime, Mrs. Prophet had two beachfront properties in Malibu and another $300,000 home she lived in off the beach near Camelot.


In the early ‘80’s, dictations started to emphasize the threat of cataclysm more often.  We started to look in earnest for a property “in the wilderness” where the church could build what was billed as a “self-sufficient spiritual community.”  Self-sufficiency was vital if the expected social, economic or physical cataclysm ever came to pass.


A perfect property in an undisclosed western state was found.  The location was not revealed due to delicate negotiations with the current owner.  The church did not want locals getting wind of a California cult wanting to buy the pristine property adjacent to Yellowstone National Park. 


The church launched a massive fund-raising campaign.  Monroe Shearer and other church representatives were sent all over the country with a glitzy video showing the “place prepared” and psyching people up to give every last cent they could towards its purchase. 


Mrs. Prophet gave major lectures exhorting members to give their all.  One of those lectures was entitled The Law of the One and made into a booklet mailed to all members.  The basic idea had to do with everyone contributing his or her share.  I don’t recall all the specifics right now.  Funding raising was relentless and eventually paid off.


One of the ways Mrs. Prophet always approached fund-raising for the Ranch was saying it belonged to all of us.  After we got to the Ranch, I used to think back on those statements that she made and it would irritate me because it was a big lie.  Staff weren’t allowed to have any of the special food items that were grown at the Ranch.  They were always “for Mother and the family.”  Staff could eat all the carrots they wanted, though.  (To this day, I can’t stand carrots.)


Mrs. Prophet had absolute control over everything around her.   In the summer of 1987, staff were forbidden to plant flowers on the Ranch because they weren’t useful.  We could plant tomatoes for her and her family to eat, but not flowers.  One staff member was sent to the kitchen for a week as punishment for planting flowers.


Mrs. Prophet representation of herself being the anointed representative of the ascended masters, guru, bodisattva, and all the other attainment and offices she supposedly held, were total fabrications that convinced me to dedicate my life to serving her and her church.  I was absolutely dedicated to publishing the teachings of the ascended masters to the whole world.  If you want specifics about all her supposed offices, I can get them.


Balancing 100% of her karma is the one that really takes the cake.  Saint Germain delivered that dictation on November 8, 1980.  I remember a conversation I had with Chris Kelly in 1996 where he laughed at how outrageous it was and also how manipulative and what a bald-faced power ploy.  At that time, I defended Mrs. Prophet but Chris saw it as a total power trip and would not believe it was true.


My main beef with Mrs. Prophet is not so much that she covered up her human foibles and immorality but that she represented herself to be something entirely different than she is.  When I listened to her at the last conference in 1996 before I departed the Ranch, I heard the charm oozing out of her and I said to myself, “What a liar!  She is not any of those things she is conveying to the audience.  She is the meanest and nastiest woman I ever met and yet she shows such a loving face in public.  What a lie.”


I found out in April of 2000 from Kenneth Paolini’s site and since then that her representations of herself were a lie from the very beginning.


4.      Please itemize in detail the amounts of all financial losses you feel you suffered as a result of your reliance on misrepresentations of the church, as well as any other way you feel you were injured.

My financial losses in terms of actual financial contributions to the church are minimal because I didn’t have much money when I found the teachings and came on staff. 


Mistakenly dedicating 25 years of my life to the church translates to a big financial loss today.   Let me count the ways:


·        The church did not pay into Social Security for years.  I lost many quarters of credit towards my future Social Security.


·        Today have a total of $1800 in an IRA fund.  No other funds towards retirement at all.


·        Mrs. Prophet promised me that I could go to school full-time to get my degree.  She failed to mention the hot water the church was in with the IRS and Labor Department which the staff were never informed of.  It seems that staff had to work 40 hours a week to draw a salary.  So I compromised and went to school part-time and worked at the church full-time.  A broken promise.


·        Without a degree, finding a job now where I can make a living is a joke.  Big mistake staying on staff and not holding Mrs. Prophet to her word to pay for my schooling full-time back in 1993.


·        I gave the church the best years of my life.  Today I am 52 and it is a bit late to start a new career.  I always wanted to be a professional of some kind.  I gave that up for the church.


Other off-the-wall things about my staff life:


·        I slept on a foam mat on the floor in my office for 13 years.  Considering the alternative of rooming with many people in one room made the floor in my office look good at the time.


·        I worked from 8 a.m. to 2 a.m. seven days a week for years.  One reason I slept on the floor in my office was because it saved travel time.  I could get more work in if I lived in my office.


·        My first 14 years on staff, I had a total of 15 days off and that included a 10-day trip home to Denver in 1980. 


·        Time off for staff was always a Catch-22.   We had neither money nor transportation to go anywhere.  I knew Mrs. Prophet and her family did all kinds of things such as go to Disneyland and take regular vacations.  I resented that through the years.



Today, I suffer symptoms of PTSD as a result of the traumas I endured in the church: 


·        For instance, I am not employable in a regular 9-5 situation.  I cannot brook authority figures making arbitrary decisions about my life and telling what to do and when to do it.  Fortunately, I have found a way to make a living with my own business.


·        I cannot stand to be trapped in any kind of meeting where I am forced to listen to a speaker, esp. someone who is self-important and likes to hear him or herself talk.  Part of me inside starts screaming, “Let me out of here!”


·        My tolerance for stress and conflict is so low it sometimes affects my own business dealings today.   I am in sales and when someone is especially nasty to me, it is very difficult for me to handle.  I do not make as many sales as I could and should because of this handicap.  My cut experience affects my pocketbook every day in this way.


·        I sometimes struggle with low self-esteem.  Part of me feels I have wasted my life in cut and I am embarrassed to tell people what I have done with my life.  I probably won't ever attend a high-school reunion largely because I am chagrined to tell people I was duped into a cult for 25 years.


·        Sometimes, I still feel guilty when I take time off. 


·        When I have been away for a few days and I listen to my voicemail, I still cringe, thinking I am in trouble with my supervisor for going away.  That’s how it was oftentimes when you went away on staff.  My supervisor in the editorial department would never take any time off and she resented it when anyone else in the department did so. 


This supervisor’s attitude affected other staff in the editorial department.  One staff member went on a trip to Hawaii and when she got back she told me that she had almost called me from Hawaii because she was so guilty about having a good time.  The guilt ruined the trip for her.  


My personal time off is a BIG deal in my life now.  I guard it jealously.  I don't like having obligations to others when it comes to my personal time. 


·        To this day, I still recognize some psychological issues I have around some areas of life because of my church experience.


I would like to have married and had a family but Mrs. Prophet controlled everything in that area and I towed the mark to the nth degree.  It is probably just as well.  I wouldn’t want to be saddled with a mate who believed in CUT/Mrs. Prophet today. 


Last, but not least, I would say that my CUT experience has robbed me of any desire to pursue God per se and Jesus in particular.  I feel badly because I know Jesus exists and is a great master, but whenever I think of him I also think of Mrs. Prophet and her supposed special relationship, mantle and mission on his behalf. 


I am not interested in any organized religion of any kind.  In fact, I have a strong aversion to it.  I think organized religion is just an excuse for human beings to control other human beings.  No thanks.  I have been there and done that!  


I think children need some kind of moral training in the basic premise common to all religions—the golden rule—in order to have a moral compass in life.  But as an adult, one's belief system/spirituality should be a matter of individual choice.  Unfortunately, many of us have learned there are charlatans in this world even in this area of life.


The Dalai Lama says his religion is kindness and that, too, is what I say to people who ask me what my religion is.  Kindness is the legacy I would like to leave in the world.  I spent too many years serving one of the most unkind people on this planet.



5.  Please state in detail why you have waited until this time to seek recovery on your claims against the church

I have waited until now to seek recovery on my claims because it has taken me this long to begin to process and realize how outrageous my experience was in CUT, especially at the end. 


Even when I departed the Ranch in July of 1996, I still believed and practiced the teachings.  It wasn’t until April of 2000 when I read Kenneth Paolini’s web site and found out about Mrs. Prophet’s immorality, dishonesty and misrepresentation from the very beginning that I decided to discard the teachings. 


I probably would not pursue a lawsuit on my own.  In the light of recent events at the church, namely their selling off land for millions of dollars without compensating members who slaved and sacrificed to help buy it, I feel the church should have to pay for wrongs in the past.  If they won’t admit to wrongs, at least let them pay restitution through a lawsuit.